And so the game changes
The following post was from my original blog on ronincyberpunk.com, it is archived here for posterity purposes
In the 1800s there were not really any such thing as novels as we knew them today. Well there were but they were not the money business that they are today. Instead many authors chose to write for newspapers.
One of these authors was Alexander Dumas, the author of The Count of Monte Cristo or The Three Musketeers. He wrote dutifully for newspapers in serial novels, the soap operas of the day. If you go back and read the editions of his work that are the least diluted by editing you will note that almost every chapter ends with a cliffhanger.
Dumas worked hard to keep readers wanting more, to bring them back to the newspapers to get more of his tantalizing stories. And it worked. It worked so well that in fact there are stories of people waiting in crowds on the docks for the latest shipment of his serial chapters in the newspaper to arrive.
For over two years now Ronincyberpunk.com has lived as my personal journal and publisher online, carrying my life stories to you my readers. While my audience is not nearly as large as Dumas', nor is my writing abilities nearly parallel to his, I do hope I've shared some tales of my life with you all.
As of this posting, I am taking the longest sabbatical I've ever taken from blogging, and this one is for real. I've blogged for my whole college career, sharing with you all my triumphs and failures. And as of last semester, I've reached an all time low in school. My GPA took a major hit such that I cannot continue anywhere near the road I am currently on.
I failed two classes and received a barely passing D in another. None of which I am proud of and all of which I could and truly should have done much better in.
This summer it all changes.
Were my life a reality TV show, I would have just told all the contestants that this is no longer a game of surviving - it is a game of thriving. Except I would have used a thesaurus and located the most fantastic buzzwords to use instead, making it more marketable. Obviously.
I've gone two years enjoying my college life. As I rightly should. But for most of those two years, the enjoyment still permitted me to make decent grades. Now the enjoyment has taken me to unacceptable grades, and the game has to change.
Both myself and my parents are questioning if I should be here. Not whether I want to be here, because I truly do. I love going to Georgia Tech. But whether I belong here - because thus far I have yet to show myself to be anything more than a tag along in a game with the big kids.
So where is this all going to change? How can taking a blog down have an effect on my life? What exactly am I going to go for in this change?
As I said, the game isn't to survive, it is to thrive. I am going to make straight A's this summer. Which is wholly doable. I am only taking twelve hours. Six of which are independent study. The other six are two classes, each I have had a taste of before – one I failed last semester, and the other one I dropped. And this summer I conquer them like the fat kid in the kiddy pool, they're mine.
I have to learn discipline, every time I've announced a sabbatical from the blog – I've never held to it. I've always come back early. Which is a testament to what I feel this blog does for my life. It is my journal, my keystone to sanity perhaps. But it is also distraction. And so, for now it is going to be pushed aside. I'll be turning off comments and actually removing Moveable type from the server to make it even more difficult for me to cheat the system. I will of course backup the site and the templates, but I must make it difficult for me to break this sabbatical.
No, I am not leaving blogging. I promise that. I know in my heart I will make a return – but not for several months. Currently, I'm setting my vacation at six months. Six months to build up stories and six months to change my life. So, I will return to blogging on November 12th, 2004.
This change is not only in my organization of time, it is a makeover. To use one of today's buzzwords – it is an extreme makeover. I'm not going to shave my head or enter into the Church of Scientology, but I am going to change myself.
I'm going to change the way I think about time. I'm going to change the way I think about school. I'm going to change the way I look at my world.
A few weeks back I wrote down on a pad just what I classified as "wrong' with me. These are my opinions, and my feelings toward myself. I appreciate people who disagree with me, but this list is MY list. It's how I feel and is how I want to change. The list is not something I will post here for you to read and critique, instead I'll leave it up to you what you think I will be changing, and when I return in six months – you will find out then. And only then.
Other than scant basics I won't even be telling my roommates what I'm changing. This is something I'm doing for myself, by myself. My parents, as I've asked them, are playing minor roles in this story – but only because I asked them too. They respect my having left the house and my being out on my own – and thus far I have too, but this change is going to require discipline I don't really have yet. And so, until I develop them on my own, I am going to rely on my parents for their help.
So where does this leave you, my beloved readers. It leaves you in a tough position, like a fan of a movie waiting impatiently for the sequel – I am going to make you wait six months before you see this front page push this long article downwards. I am going to make you wait six months before I return to ronincyberpunk.com.
I am not, however, going to make you wait six months before I will talk to you. I will be checking my email, dutifully as always, And I will be more than happy to keep in touch with any of you.
I will hardly be on AIM, I only log on for special occasions and even then I am not on for very long.
I won't be on IRC except for rare rare occasions; it is another tool that magically sucks time out of my clocks.
I will have my cell phone, so if you call me I will most likely answer.
I will also be on the radio on Monday mornings, from 6 to 9 on WREK 91.1fm or you can tune into the webcast at wrek.org.
I will see you in six months. And hopefully some of you will meet me on the docks. November 12th.
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